This is about me with respect to some traits, not about politics, democracy or accountability. I just read (and scanned- it’s long) an article called, “What if the Secret to Success Is Failure?” It caught my attention because I’m such a huge failure, so far. (I sure hope failure is the key to success- I’ve got it in abundance!) The article has a long, build-up, but gets to the first point about a third of the way through:
a set of strengths [traits] … especially likely to predict life satisfaction and high achievement … zest, grit, self-control, social intelligence, gratitude, optimism and curiosity
Traits: Zest, and Grit
Zest: Sometimes. When I’m playing with people, or speaking with them, my zest rises (no pun intended- I can’t believe I wrote that!) But most of the time, I’m either working, zoning out or am moderately depressed. I’m pretty sure people wouldn’t describe me has having “zest.” (That might not be true- they tend to see me only when I’m with people, when I show more energy…) When I’m hotly uncovering a new possibility, digging in furrow after furrow, sensing a new vein of gold is about to be revealed, I keep plowing. I have zest for discovery.
Grit: sometimes. Until now, I’ve lacked the grit to write a book or a blog. But when I start working on something, I stick to it. Especially if it involves figuring something out.
Traits: Self-control and Social Intelligence
Self-control: In most areas. A big exception is sugar. (Boy, I want some right now… I wonder if I can actually drink a cup of tea without sugar…)
Plus, I’ve learned to react to my emotional reactions as: Wow, I’m having an emotional reaction! Instead of thinking it points to something real. To most people, fear means there’s danger, and anger means there’s an attack. To me, fear means my brain made up there’s something dangerous and anger means it’s on a witch hunt for someone to blame. I still react a bit, be alert, study the environment. But I won’t take the next usual step, thinking it’s real, or serious, or personal. To me, self-control is me controlling my brain. I have no choice about what things seem to mean. But I have choice about believing them.
Social intelligence: Sort of. I like people and get along with people. I’m not that interested in day-to-day things, fashion and sports, but I’m interested in people. I’m not very good at making friends or following up or building relationship. But if someone takes the trouble to build a relationship with me, I’m available and willing.
Hint: I don’t really enjoy sitting and having a meal together, unless the conversation’s good. I much prefer a walk or hike. I think the changing atmosphere and coping with balance, navigation and coordination occupy part of my mind, the part that’s usually nagging at me with distractions when I’m sedentary…
Traits: Gratitude, Optimism, Curiosity
On gratitude, I’m a mixed bag. I’m thankful for tons of stuff in life. At the same time, my brain thinks people don’t support me very well, and they should. Especially now, given what I’m up to. What I’d like: a couple of friends to visit during the week. The house should have fresh air, not musty. It’d be fun to, say, watch an hour of TV together and go for a walk… Certainly when I compare myself to others, and compare America to many other places, I’m grateful. Like Syria these days- sheesh!
Optimism– also a mixed bag. I’m not optimistic by character. But rationally, I know there are no limits. Almost all limits are artificial bits of reasoning supported by a view. Change the view and change or eliminate a limit. So rationally, I’m an optimist, but not emotionally.
Curiosity– Yes. I suppress it most of the time. There’re lots of articles and books I don’t read. Lots of things I don’t study. I’d rather work. But if you have something interesting to say while we’re hiking, I love to engage.
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