January 21, 2017- An open letter about ways that Trump could benefit from today’s marches. (#TrumpRights)

President Trump,

First off, I hate your cabinet picks. Some of them are atrocious. Due to them, I see no reason to trust you and every reason to disrespect you.

Still, doing good is doing good. So I’ll give you two ways you could do good, easily and quickly.

1. Pass the E.R.A. (#TrumpRights)

Today’s marches were mostly about women’s rights and dignity.

While some of your campaign comments supported women, many of them did not. Obviously the pussy groping comments did not. But also the comments about beautiful women v.s. Rosanne Barr. Seeing the beauty in all women is a bit sexist (as opposed to seeing the beauty in all people.) But for a man to publicly judge some women as beautiful and others as not perpetuates the culture of adolescent males. While you have every right to prefer some women over others in your fantasies, voicing that crap should be far beneath any respectable public figure.

I suggest you bully the Republicans in Congress into passing the E.R.A. It was almost passed in the late 1970’s. It’s sure to pass today. A recent poll found that 94% of Americans want it. It’s written, it’s wanted, pass it.

2. Pass Resolutions on not-regulating women’s bodies

Women are asking for the same kind of dignity that men are granted. A big part of this is to stop trying to pass Federal laws about pregnancy, childbirth, birth control and other women’s health issues. Leave these to women and the people they choose to work with— such as their health professionals and their families.

Typically, idiots in the House and Senate broach these issues and then gradually are shamed into dropping them after a host of stupid statements.

Please have both houses pass resolutions that they will leave women’s health issues out of politics. Except for ensuring rights are guaranteed to all, including that health care services are available to all, Congress should steer away from regulating women’s health, just as it steers away from regulating men’s health.

3. Fully fund Planned Parenthood

Some teens and young adults have sex. There have always been teens and young adults having sex. There is a huge variety of cultures mixing in America. Many of these make it difficult for these people to have adequate access to pregnancy, family planning, parenting and related health care resources.

Planned parenthood has done an amazing job of filling this need and should be fully funded. It has prevented enormous suffering in America.

Please pressure the House and Senate to commit to fully fund Planned Parenthood for the next 20 years.

Reverse the damage done by your rhetoric

My best guess is that if you do these things, American women will forgive you for being such a jerk about women. Let’s face it, about women, you’ve behaved like a jerk. There are basically three types of jerks. Evil jerks rape or grab pussies. Plain jerks don’t actually do these things, but speak poorly and occasionally go a bit too far. Good jerks talk like this occasionally, but do good things. Aspire to be a good jerk.

Man-up to being a jerk, stop talking about women and do the things above. That won’t erase your past, but it’ll be a great start.