I just read this article which says the start of PC (political correctness) was hype about an imaginary situation. So maybe all this pushback against PC is wrong? (Warning: this is long, about 3.3x the length of a normal 500-word post.)

I’ve never seen an anti-political correctness concern in a real conversation

Personally, I’ve never been faced with an anti-PC concern in a conversation. I’ve never had anyone voice objection to a correction. Maybe my corrections are so politely done, people welcome them (I’ll pause while you roll your eyes.) And maybe my correction carried such authority that the person who made the comment felt my (trigger warning!) inner-asshole too close for comfort. But still, I didn’t scream at them or threaten to have them fired- I wouldn’t do that. And if they don’t want to discuss it with me because they’re afraid I might do that, that’s on them. (They can always ask: If I say something

And I’ve had lots of PC conversations. I’ve worked with a lot of people recently from India and some from China. They don’t know that much about our culture. Some of them should be very careful about driving while black, or while looking Moslem (even though they’re Hindu.) A few of them knew nothing about Jews or atheists. At times, I was the only American-born person in the group, so was the go-to person for cultural questions. (And as you might guess, I love to (try to) make sense of culture.)

What’s bullying?

I was born in 1957. In the 1960’s, I heard stories of blacks saying the wrong thing and being lynched (killed) for it. That’s extreme bullying. I saw pictures on TV of blacks being thrown on the ground and beaten for having the audacity to ordering sodas. That’s also extreme bullying.

When I was a kid, I knew nothing about religion. My parents had grown up Jewish, but when they were toddlers, Jews were being beaten. My dad was ridiculed by teachers for a year or two and then was taken out of school. Both mom and dad’s families immigrated to America in 1938, in the last months that Jews were allowed to leave. Their parents weren’t very religious and worked full time. Though they said prayers once a weak, they weren’t strongly attached to religion.

I was exposed a bit to religious symbolism from television in the 1960s and 1970s. So when I was 13 and someone at the newspaper shack (where we picked up newspapers to deliver them) said something about Jesus, I recognized the word. I asked, “Who is Jesus?” He didn’t tell me, but shared another new word, “Kike” and threw me to the ground and my papers into the street. That was a mild case of bullying.

As an adult, I’ve never been present to bullying for an offensive remark

If you want to not serve homosexuals or ban same sex kissing in public, I say you’re prejudiced and wrong. And if you refuse to learn how you’re culturally biased and refuse to get over your revulsion, I say: in that way, you’re being stupid. You have a right to be stupid and we’re all stupid in ways. You’re welcome to feel embarrassed about it, but there’s no need to be ashamed. And, you can be ashamed if you want to be. But that’s not bullying.

If I say it in public in order to shame you, that’s bullying. But if I say it in public because it’s a public dialogue, that’s not bullying. If you’re going to air your ignorance in public, the consequences may well be public. It’s just the cost of having the privilege of having the ear of thousands or millions of people. If your comment does damage, people have the right to counter it and try to undo the damage to the public. That’s not bullying.

How is our PC culture intolerant?

How is our PC culture intolerant? One article said it shuts down traditional Christian cultures that want to espouse disapproval for homosexuality. I disagree. One CEO was fired because he contributed to an anti-homosexuality referendum. Maybe he was offered the option of apologizing and retracting the donation- I don’t know. But that’s very different- his contribution was an action, not a discussion. And he’s the CEO. He is fully aware that his actions reflect on the company.

If you want to not serve homosexuals or ban same sex kissing in public, I say you’re prejudiced and wrong. If you refuse to learn how you’re culturally biased, if you refuse to learn how you can get over your revulsion, I say that in that way, you’re stupid. At the outset, you were ignorant. But refusal to learn qualifies as stupid. You have a right to be stupid. And we’re all stupid in different ways and about different things. You’re welcome to feel embarrassed about it. There’s no need to be ashamed, but that’s your choice. Voicing my opinion is not bullying.

What’s bullying?

It used to be that if guys kissed in public they’d be beaten and fired and maybe their house would be burned down. That’s bullying. Complaints about “verbal bullying” are overblown.

I first encountered the idea of gay sex as a freshman in college in 1975. Some guys were talking about how they’d beat a guy up if he was looking at their junk in the gym showers. I almost threw up in my mouth at the thought of guys wanting sex with guys. At the same time, I was horrified that these clowns would hit someone for looking!

About 5 years later I was at Stanford. I signed up for an interesting-sounding seminar called “Men in Difficult Times.” It wasn’t till the second class meeting that I realized most of the guys in there were gay. I was on high-alert. Definite culture shock. I just listened. It turned out these guys were pretty normal. Some seemed more insecure than I was, some less. They certainly had different family experiences and had a lot of disapproval about who they wanted to be with.

Years later I encountered gay internet porn. More shock. I got over that, too. And then I thought back to my revulsion about the thought of gay sex in 1975. I realized that was all cultural programming. If I had grown up around images of naked people and sex, I would have never had that revulsion.

Did a Christian try to “bully” me?

For a few years, in my 40’s, I played volleyball with a guy. One day I received a letter in the mail from him. I thought, “This is weird- I just saw him 2 days ago.” Inside the envelope was a card written in an ornate script with a lot of flowery language inviting me to a talk about “our Lord Jesus Christ.” I was weirded out- I had never even seen anything like it. “Our Lord?” That was presumptuous.

The next Saturday I spoke with him. I said no thanks to the invitation and while he was welcome to invite me to such things, I felt uncomfortable with the formal invite, the flowery language and the phrase “our Lord.” He blew up! He said something about “you Jews” and that was the last time I saw him. I was nice about it and he blew up. I think he over-reacted and was dumb. It was upsetting. I had to handle my upset. But I’m not complaining about it. I’m not saying he bullied me. He didn’t. It probably took guts for him to send it and the fear stopped him from thinking clearly (that he should have talked to me about it), and the fear probably also fueled his reaction.

Similarly, the “Startup Bigots” apply pressure. It’s not fair, but it’s not bullying

I’m working on a startup creating political accountability.  My concrete, realistic and easily-accomplished-by-a-small-team plans are pooh-poohed by Silicon Valley’s startup bigots. I get pushback from everyone that I shouldn’t be investing in it- I should be working full time and doing it at night and on weekends. I should start small (which has been proven to be harder) and get better proof before asking for money. From my family, I often get emotional reactions- I’m sacrificing their future and their security.

At times, it’s devastating. It’s destructive to me in ways. It’s rough. But it’s not unfair. And it’s not bullying.

Be careful

So I invite you to be careful. Think before you speak. If you have something potentially stupid to say, try it to one person or a small group first. Or, if someone objects, listen to the objection and be ready to apologize and be wrong.

Right and wrong always, always, always occur in a context. And if you don’t think so, or you think the Earth is flat, you’re stupid about it. And, this is a common bit of ignorance in our society. It’s not too stupid to think there might be some rights and wrongs that are absolute. It’s not true, but it usually takes lots of work for most people to see it.

I try to do my spouting about what’s so pretty gently and gradually (usually- less so in this essay). But when I go around spouting my voluminous truisms, I expect some pushback. Other people have different world views, different contexts, so different things are true. And now a bunch of whiners have created this anti-political correctness context…

This is volatile stuff- words about real life are never actually true, they’re always approximate. So between inaccuracy and other people’s contexts, I invite you to do what I do. Anticipate some reaction. And instead of whining about it, deal with it like an adult. Or emulate me- try to be adult and apologize when you realize (usually with prodding) otherwise.

Another truism:  It’s just life. It’s not serious. It’s not even permanent.

I should get back to fixing American politics and government. I need to complete it so I can move on to fixing these in all other nations and ending wars. Did I mention the UN is interested?