I turn 60 today. All I’ve wanted for the last 5 years is to work on PeopleCount full time, with a competent partner. We could have it launched in 6 months. 

You’ll notice that I use “I” and “we” somewhat interchangeably. At times a few people talk with me about PeopleCount. At times others have worked with me for an hour, or longer for a fee…

The daily drama

I’ve tried tons of other things, including working on it alone, paying for offshore people and teams, paying for remote help nearby. They don’t work.

I keep slipping into varying depths of depression. Unlike most people, the truth for me is that “reality” is an illusion. So the depression, the hopelessness, the occasional attraction of death are all illusions. They’re not as easy to let go of as switching off a TV, but they’re still illusions.

And of course, I keep hauling my ass into work and plugging my brain into projects that promise to make much, much less difference. I keep paying my bills, doing chores, and supporting my family. I pretend that my little life and family and possessions and job matter. It’s all illusion…

Alternatives?

People tell me to “enjoy a drink”, “take your family out for dinner”. Please stop. I don’t care about those things. I want to stay healthy both to work on PeopleCount and to avoid suffering. Other than that, I don’t care what I eat. I don’t want to sit and chat about trivial stuff and pretend that I care about television shows or sports. Nor about your family, or mine or the latest Trump’scapades. I easily care about them, but what turns me on is creating a great future for the planet. And it’d be so easy…

Compared to the future PeopleCount offers us, the future we’re drifting into is shit. Apparently Al Gore’s making a new movie- it’ll be even scarier. Too bad he’s not reachable…

“I” have all sorts of petty concerns. So many people have made me promises and not kept them. So many people have replied to my letters and requests with silence. Why? For a host of tiny, personal reasons, the echoes of stupid non-thoughts, irresponsible notions that cross their minds and control their actions. I have those, too. We’re all human, able to reach for the stars or fret about dirty fingernails.

People guard their money, their connections, their time as if they’re doing something worthwhile with it. The result is the world you see around you. Please, enjoy it. And please find room to appreciate that I choose not to most of the time.

Do you care about the world? Or me?

At times I want to scream: “If you give a damn about me, read my blog, put your email address on PeopleCount’s announcement list, add a supportive comment on the Facebook page, and make a donation.”

The small “I” wants to be known and appreciated. But the big “I”, that is, who I am as a commitment, doesn’t care. Do those things if you care about your life, the lives of others, the future of the next generations. Or if you care about the planet.

You’re welcome to do it for any reason you want. For instance, if you want me not to think you’re a complete idiot. That’s the reality that often surfaces in my mind:  People are stupid and blind, preoccupied with their own survival and their petty concerns. I let it go, mostly. After a breath or two, it’s obviously another illusion.

A few of you are not. Of my 685 “friends” on Facebook and the 1004 connections on LinkedIn, about 6 have donated to PeopleCount and about a dozen seem supportive.

What’s next?

I’ve written about 370 blog entries. The people who care about me read them. I’ll bet fewer than a dozen people have read more than one. I could put it into more dramatic terms. Part of my brain wants to capture your attention, even if it requires drama. I’ll let that go…

Our current political mess is the result of a system of politics where the parties compete for power. PeopleCount is a system that will make politics be a system in which we design our future together.

We CAN solve our problems. We CAN reverse climate change and build a prosperous and healthy world, as well as a great America. But the chances of accomplishing it without PeopleCount are very, very slim. With PeopleCount, it’s virtually guaranteed.

At least, when I look carefully, that’s an illusion that seems achievable.